Have you ever had that thing where you know there’s something you’re supposed to do but you’re not quite sure what it is, so you put the thought to the back of your mind and just figure it’ll magically hit you while you’re trapped in a stuck elevator with 8 people and one of them could be the devil, and every time the lights go off then back on there’s fresh blood on the walls? Well that’s why it’s taken us so long to explain what our Three Episode Rule is.
The Three Episode Rule was born after exhaustive testing on humans, animals and Charlie Sheen. This involved countless hours studying some of the most mind-knumbingly boring TV shows, including Joey, Flash Forward, The Cape and yes, Will & Grace. Beyond the fractured minds, broken homes and a strong conviction by one participant that he had “won at life!” (which admittedly we couldn’t argue with too much considering the 81.3% mortality rate of the participants), the end result was a sure fire system in which any viewer can accurately tell whether or not a TV show is suitable for their tastes. Please note before daring to use this rule in your own life, that this only works if you start from the beginning of a series. We are just about to begin research on finding a system that works from anywhere in a TV shows’ season and our Winning At Life friend has graciously quit his day job to dedicate himself full-time to the research but until our findings are released, please only use this rule as described. We can not be held responsible for any of the horrifying results if you fail to do so. Here’s how the rule breaks down:
1st Episode – False Expectations: The pilot of any TV is full of them, good or bad. Whether its trying to establish the main plotline and too many characters all at once, or just filling it with high-octane action from start to finish, you’re just never going to see the balanced show this will end up being, IF given the chance.
2nd Episode – The Truth Unfolds: This is where the miss-conceptions of the pilot beginning to be seen, as the real series starts to emerge. The second episode is in essence the real pilot, showing you how they intend to tell the story over 22 or 42 minutes each week.
3rd Episode - This Is It?!: At this point you know the characters, the main plotline and how they intend to tell the story. With nothing more to learn regarding the construct of the series, you can just sit back, relax and see if you enjoy what’s on offer.
The Three Episode Rule is essential for fair assessment of any TV series. If you’re reviewing a show and are not using it, you might as well be dead. Probably.
The Three Episode Rule, it IS the law.